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Communication: (n. v. argument): the act between a man and woman where two completely different languages are spoken.
It’s the key to a successful relationship. Communicating your hopes, dreams…and what you’re going to eat for dinner. But men and women approach it differently. Sometimes our thoughts become a battlefield between words and emotions. The louder you speak the quieter the resolution. Last week I had dinner with a very close girlfriend. She and her long-time boyfriend are going through what I call “growing pains.” Lately, they’ve been bickering about silly things—things that if communicated in a language the other could understand—would never cause an argument between two people. Especially two people who love each other as much as they do. It is all just a big misunderstanding. Nonetheless she was upset. And at one point she started crying. Being the sensitive, emotional girl that I am…I followed suit. Two close girlfriends, sitting in a trendy, hip restaurant, crying over wine and coffee. To a woman, a conversation is an offering of her self. A dinner date with a gal pal is anything but light. It’s analytical…deep. We peel away the layers of our friend—truly, sincerely experiencing every detail of her story. Our words are an opening to our soul, our values. Everything we say is carefully constructed as if writing a poem with a felt-tipped pen. And then there are men. Now, I don’t speak “man”…and I’m still learning their language. But if I had to guess? Conversation isn’t emotional. Not until about halfway through when they realize the look of absolute distain or heaven-forbid tears on the face of their significant other. Not because their words are mean, but because men are simple. Questions give answers, often brutally honest ones. No analyzing, no ill-intentions, NO bull! What you ask is what you get. So what is the real trick to really understanding each other? Practice. Time. Lots of hands-on training (no hitting, please!) And when that doesn’t work…just make sure you know these two words in any language: “I’m sorry.” Read more "Kissing Cleveland" lifestyle columns. "Kissing Cleveland" (tm) appears weekly in AgeVenture News. All rights are reserved. rachel@demko.com |