Super Senior: Barbara Olive, author and woman of courage
Judith L. Janes
special to AgeVenture News Service
Hello Dr. David Demko,
My friends and I have discovered your website and its many great features. The stories of Seniors who have done so much with their lives are an inspiration to us. We all agreed that one of our friends ought to be profiled on your site. She has inspired those of us who know her to do more with their lives. As briefly
as I can tell it, here is her story:
Barbara Olive, at 70, keeps overcoming life's obstacles with new goals & achievements. You would think that raising 9 children, taking a leading role in her church community, chairing her local Democratic party, running for State Senator and Representative, would be enough accomplishments for a lifetime. Not for this spirited woman.
With her growing children needing less attention, she returned to a high school dream of becoming a nurse, completed her studies, and launched into a professional nursing career. "It's like being a Mom, only with added
technical expertise," she told me.
When St. Mary's Hospice in Milwaukee opened its doors, Barbara felt her calling. She joined the team of original staff members who together planned the policies & procedures and formed a caring environment for those who held little hope of a cure. "Those years of hospice work were the finest point in my nursing career," she said later. She never foresaw how hospice work was preparing her for future events in her family's life.
With advancing age, her mother became too weak to live alone. Barbara's family took her in to live with them until the day she quietly slipped into a coma and died. Those months gave her first-hand experience in using hospice techniques in home caregiving: finding resources for equipment and nursing assistance; solving the complexities of Medicare and supplemental insurance forms; letting go; funeral planning; and resolving grief.
After "Grandma" died, Barbara's household began settling down to normal when, without saying "Goodbye" to anyone, their oldest son took his own life. "That day, life as we knew it, changed forever," she recalls. Pain,
shock, disbelief, grief, guilt, remorse seared through the family leaving no one untouched. "Even my life-long faith began to crumble," she says. "I couldn't believe God would let this happen to our son."
With the help of counselors, clergy, support groups, and therapists the family struggled to its feet, only to be crushed again a year later when the youngest son was killed instantly in a car crash caused by a drunk driver.
"We seriously considered that we were under some kind of a curse, and we would never be happy again."
But, now, 14 years later, Barbara & her family are again thriving. Much of that recovery is due to Barbara's spirited decision to learn to cope with whatever life fhrew at her, and to share that with others. At the suggestion of her counselor, Barbara poured her thoughts and feelings into a journal. She found this writing so healing she went on to write biographies of her two deceased sons, and then authored a 300 page book about grief & recovery.
She was pursuing publication of this book when another crisis intervened. Her husband suffered a heart attack. Quick action pulled him through. "It happened so quickly, We realized we hadn't made a will or gotten power of
attorney, or organized any of our affairs for his sudden departure."
That's when she began putting her next book together, "Gifts of Love, Healing, & Sharing When There's TIME to Say Goodbye" (Lemieux International Ltd, 1998, $14.95). The book lists strategies for better medical care in today's slipshod health system; pain management options; ways to deepen relationships before, during, and after a crisis; coping skills; strengthening spirituality; tying up legal loose ends; and, eventually, letting go. The last chapter is for healing grief of those left behind. What she put in the book are things she lived through. The book is not just for Seniors, or those who are ill, but for anyone who doubts that their life can change drastically in an instant. Readers can check their local bookstore, or order the book via the Internet at:
www.eldercaregivinghealth.com
Now, at age 70, Barbara Olive is an advocate for better medical care, legal protection, eldercare & caregiving support to improve the quality of life for all Seniors. Last year she joined Toastmaster's International to reach out to others as an accomplished public speaker. She lectures at local churches & Senior groups and has been interviewed on Television & Radio. She never stops gathering new skills. She took a Computer course and set up her own Website to spread her message to a wider audience.
Did I mention that she also babysits for an assortment of 16 grandchildren, that she and her husband cared for his mother in their home through her last illness and death, that she helped two of her friends publish their own books? I asked her one day how she crammed so much into one lifetime. She replied, "I just learned how to make every minute count."
Respectfully submitted,
Judith L. Janes
Photo credit: Barbara Olive, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Image credit: Lemieux International Ltd.
David Demko reports on lifestyle issues and trends in Aging America.
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